Raaawr!
by y1fellas
Summary: The four senior girls enter high school and Yui unintentionally finds herself crafting an empire of blackmail, extortion, and corruption within the student council, staff and faculty. Ayano joins the student council and becomes an unwitting porn in Yui's unwilling game. Kyoko sets out to get a girlfriend, and Chitose exactly knows who she wants that person to be. Ayano/Kyoko.
1. Chapter 1

R[]/\R!

Chapter 1

"Hey, Yui?" Toshino Kyoko glanced across at her best friend, who internally braced herself for whatever nonsense it was that was about to spew forth from what was essentially her charge's mouth. To be fair, Funami Yui wasn't _officially _Kyoko's caretaker, but the parents of both the Toshino and Funami households expected her to keep her to watch over the... _'enthusiastic' _young blonde. Yes, _technically_ Yui's role was best friend since childhood, but more often than not it felt to her like she was merely a babysitter.

And she didn't even get payed by the hour.

"Yes, Kyoko?" Yui answered after a moment, vaguely curious despite herself. They were on a public train though, so she could at least _hope _Kyoko would show a tad more tact than she usually did, right?

"...Am I gay?"

So much for hope.

What was the best way to answer that question? Yui really wasn't sure. Often it was completely impossible for her to follow Kyoko's thought process, so figuring out why this question was being asked would be difficult. Tactfully stepping around the situation probably wouldn't help much either, so Yui found herself resorting to one of her usual solutions of the blunt force kind.

"Yes." Yui turned to look at her friend. "Why?"

"Oh." Kyoko frowned, looking out the window. "Are you sure?"

Raising an eyebrow, Yui answered, "Well… you might not be, but as far as I can tell: you write yuri doujinshi, you've had a crush on Chinatsu for ages, and you've never even once shown an interest in a boy." She listed the different factors off on her fingers. "Since the last year of elementary school I've just assumed you were about as straight as a curly straw."

"Huh." Kyoko looked… pensive? Odd. Yui couldn't remember the last time she saw Kyoko look thoughtful about anything that wasn't drawing or writing manga. After a moment, Kyoko brightened up. "Okay then. I should get a girlfriend."

"...Why?" Yui frowned and for some reason felt strangely worried. The blonde knew what girlfriend meant, right? She wasn't going to kidnap someone, was she?

Kyoko gave her a confused look. "Because I'm gay? You just told me-"

"No." Yui held out a hand to cut her friend off. "I mean why ask me in the first place?"

"Oh…" Frowning again, Kyoko looked a little less exuberant than Yui was used to seeing. "Some of the girls in class were making fun of me and Ayano yesterday. They called us things like dykes and carpet lickers."

Yui blinked again, frowning. "Why? How would they know if you were?"

"Because we're both from Nanamori Middle School."

Despite herself, Yui couldn't help but snort out a laugh. "You're kidding me."

Kyoko shook her head. "Apparently that place has a reputation."

"...Kind of a well deserved one," Yui admitted.

"Mmm." Kyoko voiced her agreement. "Anyway, does this mean I need to come out to my parents?"

_...I seriously doubt they don't already know. _"You should probably talk about it with them."

Kyoko nodded distantly.

"...You alright?" Yui ventured after a moment. "If those girls are giving you a hard time, you can ask some of the teachers to transfer you to more of my classes."

After a moment, the blonde shook her head. "Then Ayano would be alone. She's not used to being separated from Chitose like this, so I think she needs a friend."

Yui nodded. "It kinda sucks that the only class all four of us are in is Japanese."

Kyoko hummed another agreement, but her mind was elsewhere. Gazing at her, Yui drew breath to voice the thought, _You should ask out Ayano,_ but stopped herself after a moment. It wasn't her business after all.

Instead she said, "Kyoko, keep an eye on Ayano. She's pretty sensitive, and if she's getting bullied, well… she might need a friend."

Kyoko just gave Yui an odd look, like she didn't fully understand the point, but nodded anyway.

Sighing, Yui looked back ahead. Honestly, Kyoko could be worryingly selfish sometimes.

* * *

Sugiura Ayano sat patiently, doing her best not to show any signs of nervousness. Sitting across from her, a red haired girl a few years older than her flipped through some papers with her eyes roving across the page. Ayano wasn't fooled though, she'd read enough reports and handled enough paperwork in her time as president and vice president to recognise when someone wasn't really reading and just pretending to be busy.

"So." Ayano couldn't help but jump at the sound of files slamming against a desk. "You want to become a member of the Student Council?"

"Yes, I do." Ayano smiled politely.

"It says you were president of the Student Council in middle school, and Vice President for a year before that."

"I was." Shifting where she sat, Ayano resisted the urge to flatten out her skirt or fiddle with her hair. _Calm, and confident,_ she reminded herself, _be calm and confident_.

"You understand the Student Council here is of a higher standard than those of… elsewhere, don't you?" The redhead questioned. "This school has almost ten times the number of students as where you previously attended, and because of that we can afford to be more selective of who we do and don't accept."

_That means Sakurako definitely won't be accepted next year, _Ayano thought to herself a touch guiltily. _The poor girl was really never the brightest, though._

"On that note though, your records are impressive. Second in your clast in almost every subject," Ayano had to fight the urge to wince at that. _Stupid, sexy Kyoko. _"You fulfilled your role on the council well, and all teachers compliment you on your efficiency as well as leadership skills."

"Thank you," Ayano smiled again.

"Honestly, you'd be a shoe-in if it wasn't for this… _concerning _mention here on the last page."

_Oh. Oh, god __**no**__._

The girl cleared her throat. "It says that on your last day there, you, 'Displayed behaviour unbecoming of a member of Nanamori All-Girls Middle School, let alone a member of the Student Council, or even the Student Council President. A most unfortunate blemish on an otherwise spotless performance.'" She raised an eyebrow, and looked up at Ayano. "Care to elaborate?"

She _really _didn't care to elaborate, but she found herself without much choice. "It was… an embarrassing moment for all involved," Ayano answered tactfully, blushing at the memory. "On the final day of school, I was under the impression that uh… a _friend_ of mine, was going to be moving away to another city, and attending a different school from me. I was worried I wouldn't get another opportunity to... say _goodbye_ to them, so… in desperation I did so… publicly."

The redhead smirked evilly. "It says you declared your undying love for a classmate…" She scanned through the paper… "Who was it again? Ah, here she is. Toshino Kyoko, was it? It says you declared your eternal love for Miss Toshino, on stage, in front of an audience of parents, students, and teachers."

Ayano swallowed, and couldn't bring herself to meet the girls eyes. "That's… missing some of the details." _I hate you so much, Kyoko. _

"No doubt." That smile was truly malicious. "And how did Miss Toshino respond to your confession?"

"...She wasn't in the audience," Ayano muttered.

"Oh no, really? The redhead's eyes widened slightly, her smile growing larger to match them.

Wincing, Ayano answered with a touch of bitterness, "In celebration of leaving the school, she ate too much ice cream during the day and threw up. She ended up spending the graduation ceremony in the nurse's office."

A snort of laughter escaped before it could be stopped. The council member covered her mouth in an attempt to hold in her mirth. "You… you said you were under the _impression _you wouldn't see her again, which implies that you would see her again."

"...She's currently attending this school."

Another burst of laughter before it could be controlled. "Did… did she find out about your confession?"

"No." _Thank god._

A gleeful giggle cut the air. "Who-who was this girl anyway?"

"...Can we please move on?"

"Nope," was the cheerful answer as the older girl leaned in closer. "Come on, I have to know how this ended. Please tell me you two are now dating."

Ayano could only blush and look away. "We… we are not."

This time the redhead had to rub tears from her eyes by the time she got her laughter under control. "That is _horrible!_ She has to know how you feel about her at this point."

Biting her lower lip, Ayano wished a hole would open up in the world and swallow her right then and their.

"Oh, my, god. She still doesn't?" When Ayano didn't answer, the girl sat back in her chair, shaking her head sadly. "And how long have you had a crush on her?"

"...Three years now."

The girl's eyes bugged, before she burst into unrestrained laughter. "Oh, stop. Stop, please." She clutched her sides, wiping her eyes. "You're killing me. I want the full story now. I have to know, how did you even meet her?"

Ayano had to fight the urge to whimper while she spoke. "I came second on the tests at the end of our first term. She came first, and I wanted to know who beat me."

Clasping one hand over her mouth, the girl snatched up the report again. "But you were placed second in almost every subject… don't tell me she was the one who…"

This time Ayano really did whimper.

"She was?!" The sheer glee in that girl's face was frightening as she said, "Oh, that's horrible. That's truly, truly, terrible." Despite her words, the widest grin Ayano had ever seen was plastered across her face. "I mean… damn." She shook her head. "You lost to her every time? Every _single_ time?"

"Shut up!" Ayano snapped and crossed her arms. "She's a genius, okay? And I beat her in PE."

The council member giggled. "Yes, you didn't do too badly in that subject, but really? A genius?" An eyebrow was raised.

"A lazy, selfish, otaku who has to be the **dumbest **_smart _person alive, but… yeah, she's a genius." Ayano sighed. "She barely even needed to study to ace every test." Fiddling with her hair and still blushing furiously, she thought to herself, _It's not fair. How do you get an IQ that high by eating ice cream and watching anime all day?"_

Chuckling to herself, the red head leaned back in her chair. "I really want to meet this girl."

Ayano just fought the urge to glare.

"Anyway, that concludes the interview." _That was an interview? _"This was fun, we should do it again sometime." _We really shouldn't. _Waving her hand at the door, the council member continued, "If you could send the next applicant in, please."

Feeling angry and thoroughly humiliated, Ayano managed a somewhat polite goodbye before she left the room.

* * *

Sitting by herself on the train again, this time headed from school rather than to it, Yui couldn't help but feel a touch lonely. Kyoko had cram school, her parents forcing her to go, _and it was about time too, _while Chitose and Ayano was being interviewed to join the student council, leaving Yui alone for the long trip home. It was a half an hour on the train to get to or from her school, and her phone was a cheap disposable with no games on it, leaving her with nothing to do.

"I really need to join a club," she muttered to herself, sighing as she watched the scenery go by the window. _If Chitose and Ayano get onto the council, and Kyoko keeps going to cram school, I'm going to be leaving on the train before them every day._

"I hear the tea club's recruiting," a voice to Yui's left said.

Glancing across, Yui found herself looking up into the eyes of a brown haired girl wearing the same uniform Yui was.

Yui smiled politely, "Thanks, but I thought every club would be recruiting."

The girl shrugged. "More or less, but the tea club is particularly desperate. If they don't get another two members, they'll be disbanded, and I thought I'd do them a favor by pointing you towards them." She indicate the seat next to Yui. "Mind if I sit here?"

Yui glanced her up and down, before nodding. Judging by her physical development, this girl was clearly in one of the years above Yui, and it didn't seem like a good idea to make an enemy of a potential friend. "I don't mind."

"Thanks," she smiled, taking a seat and offering a handshake. "I'm Kaname Tsukasa."

"Nice to meet you, Kaname." Yui shook the hand formally, sticking to the girl's family name rather than using her given name. "Funami Yui," she introduced herself.

"Nice to meet you, Yui," Kaname answered, using Yui's first name in a way that was… kinda pushy and overly-familiar in Yui's opinion, but then given who she hung out with most days, it didn't seem like something she should get too touchy about. "You're a first year?"

Yui nodded. "And you're a third year?"

Kaname smiled, "Yes. I'm the Vice President on the Student Council."

Yui's eyes widened. "Oh… really?"

"I sorta like to brag about that," she chuckled, stretching a little bit before falling back into her seat. "Do you know anyone at this school?"

Honestly, Yui felt a little weird having a conversation like this with a total stranger, but it wasn't like she had much better to do. "Yeah, some of my friends came with me from Middle School."

"Oh? Lucky. What school did you all come from?"

"Nanamori All Girls."

Kaname blinked. "Really? I've heard of that place."

"You have?" Yui raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Yeah, it has a reputation."

It took a moment for Yui to remember her conversation with Kyoko that morning, and what she'd learned about how other students viewed her former school. "Oh," she said flatly.

Awkward silence descended for a few moments.

It was Kaname who broke it, "So... are the rumors true?"

"The rumors?" Yui repeated.

"Yeah, you know. They say that place is like…" She shifted where she sat. "You know…"

"A lesbian recruitment camp?" Yui ventured after a moment.

Kaname's eyes widened in surprise at the bluntness of that statement, and she looked around to make sure no one was listening in. "Well, basically, yeah. Is it true?"

Sighing, Yui looked back out the window. "It's… a well deserved reputation," she said tactfully.

"Really?" Kaname tilted her head to the side.

"...You know that anime, Strawberry Panic?"

"I haven't seen it, but I know what it's about."

"Well, it's like that, but without the melodrama and everyone's worse at hiding it or doesn't even bother trying."

Kaname snorted at that. "So, like… everyone there was...?"

"Not everyone, but… of all my friends there, I think only one of them was straight." Yui paused in thought. _Wait, was Akari straight? _"I think she was at least. Though I did catch her making out with Chinatsu that one time…"

Kaname giggled. "Really? Wow. I thought the rumors were exaggerated or kinda mean, but… What about you? Are you…?"

"Queer?" Yui offered.

Kaname blinked. "Well, I was gonna phrase it more politely, but sure, that works."

Pausing to consider her answer, Yui shrugged after a moment. "I don't know. I've never really been attracted to someone before, boy or girl."

"Fair enough…" Kaname shrugged. "What do you… uh… you know…"

Yui didn't know. She tilted her head to the side.

"Uh… What do you... enjoy?" Kaname pressed.

Staring for a few seconds, it took Yui a second to realise she was getting at. "You're asking what I masturbate to?"

The Vice President nodded hesitantly, blushing a little at the phrasing.

Yui glanced out the window. "Nothing, really. I just don't do that."

"Really? Like... never?"

"Don't you think this is getting a little personal?" Yui asked, frowning at the girl. "We literally only just met."

"Right, sorry," Kaname blushed, leaning back in her chair. "I didn't mean to pry, I was just curious. I've never, you know, met one before."

"A lesbian?"

She nodded.

Yui couldn't help but snort out a laugh. "Feels like I never meet anyone, but." Sighing, she started to list the people on her hands. "All of my best friends, their sisters, my other friends, their sisters too, the council president, I suspect one of the teachers… Seriously, it's like that place has a curse on it or something."

"A curse?" Kaname repeated, sounding amused.

"Something like that. If you're hoping for grandkids some day, don't send your daughter to Nanamori."

That got a snort of laughter. "I'll remember that, then."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Yui gave Kaname a curious look. "What are you doing here, by the way?"

The brown haired girl blinked, before frowning suspiciously. "What do you mean by _that_?"

Yui was surprised by her response, so she answered slowly, "I mean, you're the Student Council Vice President, right? My friend is interviewing for a role on the Student Council today… it's kinda odd for someone from the Student Council to go home early on a normal day, let alone when they're doing interviews."

"Oh. That?" Kaname rolled her eyes. "I'm just a paper pusher, I don't want to have to deal with candidates. Sayori, our treasurer, wanted to do the interviews, so we let her." She shrugged. "There was nothing else that needed doing, so the Pres said I could go home if I wanted."

_Sounds pretty irresponsible. _"Makes sense." Yui kept a good pokerface up as she considered Kaname's strangely aggressive reaction to a seemingly innocent question. _Whatever. It's really not my business._

After a moment Kaname started up the conversation again. "So, I know you said you're not into… anyone, but have you ever… you know, kissed a girl?" She leaned in closer.

Yui shrugged after a moment. "A few times, yeah."

"Is it, like, different from a guy?"

"I wouldn't know-" Yui was distracted by her phone beeping. Pausing mid sentence, she took it out of her pocket and checked the screen.

It was from Kyoko, there was an attachment, and it simply read, **";) lol chck this out"**

_If she's at cram school, why does she have time to take photos? _Yui thought to herself, annoyed. Despite herself, she opened the attached image. Given that the image was from Kyoko, she'd prepared herself for something immeasurably stupid, but even so was disappointed in her friend by what she found.

An image of two boys she didn't recognise, making out on a toilet seat in a public bathroom. It was shot from an overhead angle, meaning Kyoko would have had to stand on the rim of a toilet and poked her phone over the top of the cubicle to take the shot.

Frowning in annoyance, Kyoko responded with, **"y r u in the boys room? idiot"**

Putting her phone back into her pocket, Yui looked up to see Kaname watching her with interest.

"Did you just get bad news or something?" Kaname raised an eyebrow. "You look like you just ate a lemon."

"Certainly wasn't _good _news." Yui answered with a roll of her eyes. "It's nothing, my friend's just being an idiot again."

It was a moment before Kaname nodded, but looked a touch confused. "So you said you've never kissed a guy?"

_Seriously, we just met. Who do you think you are asking me things like this?_ "Vice President, Kaname," Yui said in a flat tone, "I'm trying to be nice, but I really don't think who I do and don't jerk off over is any of your business."

Kaname blinked in surprised, before blushing and looking away. "Right, sorry. We only just met and I've been asking you stuff like this."

Yui kept silent, but felt a touch guilty for snapping so harshly.

Kaname chewed her lip, before sighing. "I know I was prying but I promise I was just trying to be friendly. How about I make it up to you, sometime? We'll get cake, or something."

Yui blinked and frowned, "I'm really not mad. You don't have to make anything up to me."

Kaname shrugged. "I still feel kinda guilty for running my mouth again, and besides, are you really gonna say no to making a new friend?"

"My current friends give me enough trouble as it is." Yui groused, but took out her phone anyway.

They exchanged numbers and Kaname insisted on taking a photo of Yui as well having her own taken. They chatted for the rest of the train ride, about more normal things like movies, music and school, before eventually the train came to the Vice President's stop.

"Nice meeting you," she told Yui before standing up to leave. "If we catch the same train tomorrow, want to introduce me to your friends?"

Yui shrugged. "Sure, I'll make sure they behave."

Kaname blinked at that somewhat odd statement before stepping out of the train and waving goodbye to Yui. In response, Yui nodded back but didn't raise her hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Toshino Kyoko couldn't believe that she'd ever even considered the possibility that she wasn't gay. Seriously, what the heck had she been thinking? Girls were just so damn _hot_! So curvy, and cute, and wearing those tight little gym shorts whenever they weren't in those awesomely short little miniskirts… Kyoko giggled with excitement just watching them. Now if only she could get her hands on one...

The bow wearing blonde smiled to herself, her eyes raking over the female half of her class as they changed into their gym clothes. She totally should have applied for another all-girls school… Oh well, there was always university, right? Now that she knew her preferences she could angle for an all girls college or at the very least somewhere that had a lesbian bar nearby.

That talk with Yui on the train yesterday had been very refirming for her. Her best friend had not only been completely okay with Kyoko's preferences, but had known about it for longer than Toshino herself had! Damn, that had been a relief.

Those stupid bitches from yesterday who'd been bullying her and Ayano had been absolutely, one hundred percent, completely _correct_! Which somehow made all their insult and jabs seem… petty, somehow. It was like being insulted over being called a blonde when she clearly was one anyway.

Plus she was a genius, so what did she care if people called her dumb?

Taking that IQ test on a whim had been such a great idea. She was a proven genius now, so Yui couldn't call her an idiot anymore. She still did, which was strange because Kyoko was clearly brilliant, but that was probably more because of habit than ill intent.

Besides, being as smart as she was, Kyoko knew she had to make concessions for the lesser minds around her. She had to be patient while poor, old, small-brained Yui slowly absorbed and accepted that Kyoko was just as awesome as she'd always said she was.

"Dyke," one of the girls behind her hissed with a snicker. When Kyoko glanced over her shoulder, she saw that three girls sneering at her like they'd actually managed to beat her at something. As if they could ever hope to defeat the great mind of Nanamori All-Girls at anything!

A boost of confidence surged through her, and she grinned to herself. As the girls stepped past her towards the exit, she smacked the one who'd said that right on her lovely, round, and _firm, _butt.

The girl in question yelped in shock, before turning around to face Kyoko, looking red in the face. "Did you just _spank _me?!"

"Mmhm," Kyoko rolled forward a step, right into the girl's personal space.

"Hey, what?" The girl fell back a step from Kyoko, obviously too dumb to comprehend the sheer amazingness that was before her._ Poor, little, small-minded bigot, _the blonde thought to herself. _I almost feel sorry for her._

Reaching out, Kyoko grabbed her boob. "Squish."

The girl shrieked, flinching back and cover her chest. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Sorry, I slipped," Kyoko beamed innocently.

"Like you did you damn, perv-" She broke off with a squeal when Kyoko bent down and pinched her thigh. "Stop doing that!"

"You're kinda pretty." Kyoko murmured. "In a 'I have totally average looks but I'm still working it' sort of way."

"...What do you mean _average_?!"

Kyoko frowned, taking a step back and peering at her face. "Yeah, you're right. Underneath the makeup you're kinda below average, actually."

The girl's breath hitched in her throat before she drew back her hand to slap Kyoko. This wasn't the first time Toshino had been slapped, so she recognised the signs and stepped back out of her reach easily.

The hand passed harmlessly through the air in front of her. Kyoko sighed and shook her head, "So you've got a niceish body, but a bad face and worse personality. Sorry, one out of three isn't good enough for me. I'm gonna have to turn you down."

"I wasn't asking you out!" The girl shouted, hands clenched into fists at her hips and leaning forwards as she screamed.

"Well then it's a good thing I stopped you before you did. I would have had to turn you down in front of the class, and that would have just been awkward for everyone, you know?" Stepping around the girl, Kyoko skipped out of the changing room, humming to herself happily.

It was fun being a genius.

* * *

"You know, it says something that _your _mum called _me _up to pick _you _up from detention." Yui muttered to herself as she and Kyoko walked down the school halls.

"It's not my fault," Kyoko pouted.

"You sexually assaulted another student." Yui growled and glared at her charge/best friend. "How is that _not _you're fault?"

"I thought it'd be okay."

"When was grabbing another students breasts _ever _okay?" Yui asked in exasperation.

Kyoko blinked before giving an answer that to Yui was very obvious in retrospect. "In middle school?"

"...Fair point. But you still should have known better." Yui fixed her friend with a glare. "It was funny back then, but now it's just creepy and traumatising."

"You're just jealous you didn't get to touch her boobies." Kyoko waved her off.

There was no fighting that logic, and Yui had known her best friend for long enough to know that trying was pointless. All she could do was sigh, shake her head, and hope she was there to stop it happening next time.

"It's pretty late, huh?" Kyoko frowned as they passed by a window. The sun's light had turned a deep golden red as it started to set over the horizon. The track and field were empty, and there was only one other student visible on school ground, already heading towards the front gate.

"All the clubs have already gone home," Yui confirmed.

"Huh. Detention was kinda fun, so it really didn't feel that long, ." Kyoko smirked to herself. "Mr Kajura fell asleep, so I just drew the entire time."

"Glad to see you learned from this experience." The shorter haired girl muttered dryly.

"Yeah, I'm getting better at lining up perspectives when there's things like mirrors or alternate light sources in the picture."

Again, all Yui could do was sigh.

They walked in silence for as long as it took for Kyoko to get bored. "Hey, did I tell you that at Comiket this year, I was asked to help do some art for this big collaborative doujin that-"

The door in front of the two of them slammed open, and a girl stepped out muttering, "I'm gonna kill her. I'm gonna damn well _murder _her!" Panting heavily, she turned and looked across at the two of them before blinking in surprise and straightening up.

It only took Yui a moment to recognise her. "Kaname?" She frowned, an eyebrow raising.

Kaname stared at her for a moment, her face going from angry, to shocked, before a flash inspiration flared behind her eyes and a grin broke out on her face. "Yui, right?"

Yui didn't like that smile. Nor did she like being called by her first name by someone who was still very much a stranger. "No. Funami." She corrected.

"Yeah, I know your last name," Kaname waved her hand in distraction, but that mischievous/evil smile didn't disappear. "Want to do a me a favor?"

"Not particularly."

"Please, this will just take a minute." Seeing Yui's still unimpressed face, she rapidly continued on. "Listen, please, I have an… emergency, and I need to go right now." She opened her school bag and took out a stack of paper. "I need to deliver these to the Student Council room, but I've really got to get to the uh... hospital."

"The hospital," Yui repeated disbelievingly. "You're going to the hospital to _'damn well murder'_ someone?"

Kaname coughed into her hand. "Look, it's the student council applications, right? You mentioned your friend applied? If you don't get these to the room your friend will have to retake the interview."

"You mean Ayano?" Kyoko piped up.

Kaname glanced at her. "Yeah, her." She shoved the handful of paper into Yui's hands. "Please, just run them over there really fast. I've gotta go."

Yui struggled to stop all the papers slipping from her grasp and falling to the ground. "I didn't-"

"Thanks, bye!" Kaname shouted over her shoulder as she ran away, down the hall.

"Who's your friend?" Kyoko asked after a moment's silence.

"...I only met her yesterday," Yui sighed, before turning around and walking back the way she came. "Come on, let's just deliver these quickly."

"She seems bossy." Toshino said, "And she's not very cute at all."

"I wouldn't know," Yui murmured honestly.

They walked the rest of the way, Kyoko talking incessantly about anything that crossed her mind and Yui responding with either sarcasm or disinterest. Normally she was more concerned by her best friend's interests, but today she was tired from going home and then having to come back to school, as well as annoyed at having this job shoved onto her.

It wasn't long until they were standing at the door to the Student Council Room.

Kyoko reached for the door knob, but Yui stopped grabbed her hand before she could touch it. "It's rude not to knock."

Kyoko blinked, before saying, "But Ayano didn't mind when-"

"We were _friends _with Ayano." Yui cut her off with a roll of her eyes, before adding, "Besides, didn't we watch Love Lab together? Remember what happened when they didn't knock in that?"

Kyoko's eyes widened, before nodding in understanding. Then she got a mischievous grin and reached for the door knob again.

"No!" Yui slapped her hand away.

"Aww. But what if they have huggy in there?"

"This isn't actually that show! I was just using it as an example." Rolling her eyes, Yui knocked on the door.

There was no response.

Sighing for what felt like the billionth time today, Yui knocked again more loudly and called out, "Excuse me? Anyone here?"

Inside the room they heard a muffled shout of surprise, before what sounded like cursing and clattering as things fell to the floor. Yui and Kyoko exchanged a glance, before a moment later the door was thrown open by a third year student who was adjusting the glasses on the bridge of her nose. She had shoulder length green hair, which had been tied back into a quick ponytail.

"Can I help you?" She said, sounding slightly out of breath and annoyed at being interrupted.

Yui's eyes travelled down to the President's untucked shirt as well as her zipped, but unbuttoned skirt. Now she knew why Kaname had been so annoyed, and why she'd looked so mischievous when she sent the two of them this way. The way she was sweating and panting like she'd just been for a run, combined with her smudged lipstick, and slightly ruffled hair made it clear what she'd been doing before opening the door. _Just not_ who. _Looks like she was at least up to second base._

"Student Council Application forms." Yui said cooly, using her best poker face. _Kyoko, if you've noticed, please don't say anything. _She held them out the forms. "Miss President," she added with a respectful nod. "Vice President Kaname asked us to deliver them."

"Kaname? That bitc-" Interrupting herself with a cough, She adjusted her glasses before accepting them. "Thank you."

Yui wasn't sure, whether it was because Kyoko was oblivious to all the obvious signs, or because she'd noticed the signs and just thought it'd be hilarious, _Who am I kidding? It's totally the second, _the blonde skipped past the president into the council room. "So this is where Ayano will be spending her afternoons, huh?" Blue eyes looked around mischievously. "Neat."

Yui would have facepalmed. The president just looked very pale and nervous all of a sudden.

"Kyoko, get out of there." Yui groaned.

"I just wanna check their fridge." Kyoko waved her off.

"Kyoko!" Yui snapped. "Enough! Let's get out of here before- Oh god, you're already eating their pudding."

"Mmhm." Kyoko smiled at her friend with a spoon already in her mouth.

"What do you think you're doing?" The President blurted out. "Th-that's not your property, and you're stealing it from-"

"Hey, there's a teacher hiding under this desk!" Kyoko giggled out, interrupting whatever it was that was about to be said. "Hi, Mr Ishii." She waved under the desk.

Yui blinked in surprise and turned towards the President. "You're doing a _math _teacher?!" _Somehow that just makes it worse._

"I-I… N-nooo-"

"Good for you!" Kyoko smiled, standing up straight and giving a thumbs up.

There was a thump under the desk, and out from under it emerged the partially balding, partially colour blind, and very flustered Mr Ishii. With all the authority one could hope to muster while buttoning up their trousers and straightening their tie, he said, "Ms Toshino Kyoko-"

"Only Ayano calls me that," Kyoko giggled, taking in another spoon of pudding. "Call me Kyokolicious please."

Mr Ishii was evidently very worried upon discovering there was very little authority one could muster while buttoning up their trousers and straightening their tie. "Er… No that would be inappropriate."

"I imagine it would be only a little _less _inappropriate than sleeping with a student." Yui was honestly more annoyed than disgusted. _I've had enough of this day. I don't even care, I'm going home. _"Kyoko, just get out of there right now, we're going home."

"Aww, but-"

"**Kyoko**!" Yui shouted, "Enough. We're going. **Now**." Everyone in the room froze at Yui's tone. After a moment, the irrepressible blonde nodded and stepped towards her best friend somewhat nervously. Taking out her phone, Yui snapped a photo of the President and the teacher.

"What do you think you're doing, young lady?" He sounded like he was still trying to sound senior and in charge, but an edge of panic creeped into his voice. "You can't take someone's photo without permission, that's against school-"

Kyoko ignored him, taking another photo. This time she zoomed in so you could see the teachers hand and the tan line where he usually wore his wedding ring.

"Now see here-"

One last photo, this one of the President's unbuttoned skirt. On their own, the photos wouldn't prove anything, but combined with testimony from her and Kyoko, it would force the school to investigate the matter and inevitably find more concrete proof.

"Give me that phone right _now_." Mr Ishii stepped forwards, sweating and holding his hand out. "I'm confiscating it."

Ignoring him, Yui pocketed her phone and walked out of the room with Kyoko falling in behind her. It was only a few moments later that Mr Ishii chase after her, sweating heavily.

"If you don't hand over that phone, I'll have to suspend you. I'll put you on detention for the rest of your life! You hear me?! **GIVE ME THAT PHONE NOW!**"

Yui stopped walking, her eye twitching. "You're threatening _me_?" She said in a voice much calmer than she actually felt. Taking a breath, she controlled her anger and turned to face the teacher. "You're. _Threatening_. **Me**."

The teacher blinked, and took a nervous step back.

"I'm not sure you understand this situation, _sir_." Yui said in the calmest voice she could, but it still came out as just plain irritated. Pausing for thought, she decided to play it safe and rapidly emailed the two images to her inbox. Then she locked the screen of her phone, before turning it off. "Here, take it." She offered the device out to him.

Mr Ishii paused. "You just-"

"Used a phone inside school, which you now need to confiscate." Yui finished for him.

"You just texted those pictures to someone." The teachers swallowed. "You need to tell me who."

When the phone wasn't taken, Yui simply turned around and walked away. "Come on, Kyoko."

"What do you plan on doing?" Kyoko asked curiously as they walked away.

"The man's a sexual predator." Yui growled, her lip twitching a little in disgust. "I'm just going to do the right thing, and tell the school."

"You can't!" Strangely it was the President who shouted this all of a sudden, but Yui ignored her and kept going. "Please, if you tell anyone I'll-" They walked into a stairwell, closing the door behind them and cutting off the rest of the senior girl's statement.

"...You sure that's the right thing to do, Yui?" Kyoko frowned. "He's not the only one who'll be punished, and think about what it would do to her reputation."

Yui raised an eyebrow and glanced across. After a moment she shrugged and looked ahead. "She shouldn't have been an idiot in the first place."

They left the school together, and made their way towards the train station in silence. The quiet lasted only until Kyoko got bored, and soon she was happily chatting away about how how awesome boobs were. And thighs. And butts. Really, any part of a female that could be considered even remotely attractive.

"Maybe I have a foot thing?" Kyoko pondered after a moment, "I should try to find some foot porn or something."

_I can't even begin to describe how much I don't want to talk about this. _Yui was extremely grateful when her phone rang. "Funami Yui," she answered, an edge of relief in her voice.

"_Yui? It's me, Tsukasa."_

"Who?"

"_We saw each other practically five seconds ago! Tsukasa Kaname. We met on the train?"_

"Oh, right." Yui frowned. "What do you want, Kaname?"

"_I just got a call from Miyuki."_

"Who?"

"_How don't you know who that is? She's the Council President!"_

"Not for very long," Yui muttered to herself. "Why did you send us there to see that?"

"_I didn't think you'd actually see anything." _

"What did you expect to happen?" Yui rolled her eyes. _Am I the only person in the world that isn't retarded?_

"_Look, I was annoyed at her for doing, you know, _that _with him today when we were _supposed _to be going through the applications together, but Instead she decided she'd rather screw her boytoy and left everything for me to deal with. I thought you'd knock, they'd get interrupted, he'd hide, she'd answer the door flustered and embarrassed, and that would be it! I didn't expect you to take photos of them doing it!"_

"The photos aren't anywhere near that bad."

"_Whatever. Look, you can't tell anyone what you saw."_

"...I'm hanging up now."

"_Yui, seriously, if you don't promise me you won't tell anyone I'm gonna have to tell Sa-" _She bit herself off.

"Tell who?" Yui asked.

"...Look, trust me, you don't want to tell anyone. This could get really ugly-"

Hanging up, Yui pocketed the phone with another roll of her eyes. She had no interest in being threatened.

"Who was that?" Her best friend asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Kaname." She was sooo sick of this day. "You wanna sleep over at my place tonight? I'm not in the mood to study."

"Uh… okay, I'll just call my mum and let her know."

Yui nodded in understanding, glad for the moment that Kyoko's parents were so relaxed about most things. Whatever came, tomorrow was going to pain. Dealing with her parents, the school principal, everyone really, all on top of her current babysitting duties and studies. She supposed she shouldn't complain, really.

It's not like anyone would listen, anyway.

* * *

**AN: So, in my interpretation of the characters Kyoko is a genuine, personified, IQ over 160 genius, and Yui has a good pokerface when it comes to most things. This actually gets mentioned in the show when they play Old Maid together.**

Anyway, the idea of this story is that it's a suspenseful comedy. IE, it's a series of tense social plays and heist scenarios as Yui tries to outmaneuver various opponents, all set against a backdrop of Kyoko's and Ayano's terrible (but sweet) relationship, and Chitose's repeated near death bleed out sessions.

**Please review and let me know how I can improve. This is a new genre for me. I've done comedy in some capacity before, and I've also done suspense, but I've never attempted to combine the two.**


	3. Chapter 3

Ayano thought it would be unfair to describe Yui as impatient. True, she sometimes lost her temper, or grew exasperated and snappy with those around her, but really it was a small miracle that she didn't do so more often. After all, her best friend in the world was the one and only Toshino Kyoko, and there was few people in existence who were as incredibly infuriating as that beautiful, but inexplicable, blonde.

"You're lucky you didn't get tasered." This morning however, Yui sounded anything but patient. "In fact, if you did get tasered, I wouldn't have helped. I'd have just watched."

"What was I supposed to do?" Kyoko gave the short haired girl a look like she was the one who was being ridiculous.

"What you were supposed to do was the _exact opposite_ of what you did." Actually, Yui sounded downright _impatient _this morning. "What you were supposed to do was stand there and do _nothing_. Nothing at all. If you wanted, you could have said, 'Good morning officer,' or tipped your head in respect, but you didn't actually have to do either of those things. Doing _absolutely nothing _would have been good enough, Kyoko, but you couldn't even do that, could you?"

Kyoko just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "She was cute, Yui." The worst part was she sounded like that explained everything, and any contrary idea was officially null and void. "Honestly, sometimes I don't know what I'm supposed to do with you."

Yui's hands twitched violently. For a moment, Ayano was convinced she was about to witness murder. After a second though, Yui let out a calming breath and her hands rested at her sides again. "Kyoko, you're not allowed to hit on Police Officers while they're on duty. It doesn't matter how cute they are in their uniform, or if they're single or not, while they're at work, they don't want to be hit on."

Kyoko's brows came together. "But what if she-"

"No." Yui answered firmly.

"You sure? Because-"

"_Absolutely_."

Ayano pinched her brow, and looked at the sky in despair. _Why me? Why is Toshino Kyoko the girl I'm crazy about? She's not even that good looking!  
_  
Ayano glanced at the blonde and was forced to reassess that opinion.

_Okay, she's actually really pretty. Especially her eyes. And her hair. And god, I wish I had skin like that._

A singly stream of blood rolled out of Chitose's nose, and Ayano blushed beet red. "Put your glasses back on!" she snapped.

Chitose giggled to herself guiltily, sliding the glasses back on. "You were staa~aring, Ayano," she sang quietly.

"N-no I wasn't!"

All the answer Ayano got was another smile and a knowing look.

Sighing to herself, Ayano looked back across to Kyoko, who was still trying to wrap her head around the basic ideas of social etiquette. Okay, so yes, Kyoko was genuinely pretty, but she didn't have half the figure Yui did, and for all her IQ points she really was impossibly dense. Ayano was well aware how terrible she was at hiding her crush. She knew that it was something of a miracle that Kyoko hadn't noticed. No matter how she tried, she could never school herself into the careful pokerface that seemed to be Yui's default look.

_How does she do it?_

Ayano spared a glance at Yui.

_Why can't I be in love with her? That might actually make sense._

Yui wasn't as pretty in the face as Kyoko, but she was far from ugly, and the girl had a figure to _die_ for. She wasn't selfish, her thoughts were easy to follow, and she didn't give everyone around her headaches, either. Yui was calm, polite, loyal, dedicated to her studies and health, and rarely made a decision she regretted later.

That was the sort of person Ayano should want to be with. Someone… stable. Someone who wasn't exciting, or silly like the blonde. A responsible person, a nice person, a…

_Oh._ She was basically describing Akari, there: Someone who was essentially boring.

_That's the problem, then. Yui is boring, where as I've never had a boring moment with Kyoko. Ugh. I hate the girl I love so much._

"Is something wrong?" Yui asked, when she caught the purple haired girl staring.

Ayano's eyes widened a bit, and she looked away quickly. "Sorry, I was just spacing out."

Yui shrugged in acceptance, and they continued their walk from the train station to school.

"Something on your mind, Ayano?" Chitose asked innocently. "Something blonde, maybe?"

"W-why would you ask that?" Ugh, Chitose knew Ayano had a crush, there was no one at Nanamori who didn't know after that awful graduation ceremony, so why couldn't she admit it to anyone? It had taken a lot of will and determination from her to announce it publicly like that, so why couldn't she just summon it up now and ask out Kyoko right here, right now?

This was ridiculous. There was no reason not to! This silliness had gone on for far too long, especially when total strangers like that Student Council treasurer mocked her about it. Damn it, Ayano was the (former) Student Council President, there was no way she should be acting like this! It was time to grow up, and ask Kyoko out.

To her face.

Right here.

Right now.

...Any second now.

She could do it, any moment now.

...Maybe another moment, when they weren't crossing a street because that could be dangerous.

...And not this moment either, because Kyoko and Chitose were talking, and interrupting would be rude.

...This moment wasn't much good either, because they were passing a shrine and it seemed inappropriate.

_Where are the good moments?! _Ayano raged inside her mind.

Okay, okay, she needed to relax, calm herself, and think about this rationally. Why couldn't she do this? Was it because asking would make her the boy of the relationship? Hmm… now that Ayano thought about it, she didn't mind the idea of being the boy. She'd be fine taking top in bed. Or bottom.

_Wait, do girls even do top and bottom together, or do they like, take turns?_

That didn't matter right now. Focus, Ayano had to focus.

Ask out Kyoko. She'd not done it for too long. She could do it. She _would do it. _

Ayano drew in breath, turning to face the blonde. "**Toshino Kyoko**!" Her battle cry resounded proudly, and she felt like she would be more confident if she had a door to slam.

"Hm?" The blonde turned to face the purplette. "Did you want to come too?"

Ayano blinked, her righteous fervor dying a tad. "Eh?"

"To the teacher's office!" Kyoko shook her head. "Weren't you listening? Me and Yui needed to tell them something."

_When did we arrive at school?_ Ayano thought to herself, looking around the schoolyard that seemed to have sprung from the ground. Oh god, everyone was staring at her. "O-oh. Uh… n-no thanks."

Kyoko shrugged. "Okay then, see you in homeroom!"

She turned around to skip away, when Ayano shouted out. "A-actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh." Kyoko glanced over at Yui, then back at Ayano. "Well can it wait? Yui and I were going to-"

"Actually Kyoko, I think it'd be better if I went alone." Yui met Ayano's eyes, and her lip turned up into a knowing smile that vanished as quick as it appeared. "Why don't you stay here and talk with Ayano about whatever it is that was on her mind?"

"Oh," Kyoko paused in thought, before shrugging. "Okay!"

Ayano wasn't sure if she wanted to thank Yui for helping her get alone with Kyoko, or slap her for leaving her _alone with Toshino Kyoko._

Chitose was just reaching up to remove her glasses, when Ayano put out a hand to stop her. "Chitose, can you give me a moment with Kyoko?"

"Of course." Her smile was both radiant, and knowing. "Be sure to tell me everything."

Once the other two had left, Kyoko smiled at Ayano. "What did you want to talk about?"

"C-can we go somewhere more private?" The purplette glanced around at the crowded school yard.

The blonde blinked. "Oh, okay… Are we going to kiss?"

"**N-NO!**" Ayano shouted. "W-w-why would you th-think that?"

"Because we're going somewhere alone together, and if you wanted to do that alone with-"

"**TOSHINO KYOKO!**" Ayano once again drew her battle cry from the depths of her soul, cutting the irrepressible idiot off. "Just shut up, and take us somewhere quiet." Blushing bright red at all the stares she was getting, she added more quietly, "P-p-please."

Together, they left behind the prying eyes and ears of the crowd and made their way behind the main school buildings where they had a bit more privacy. The entire time they were walking, Ayano's head was filled with thoughts of, _I'm doing this. I'm actually doings this. I can't believe I'm finally actually doing this._

Wait. Why was she doing this? This was Toshino Kyoko she was about to ask out. Did Toshino even know what a date was? Or how that whole romance _thing _works?

Oh god. Toshino Kyoko wrote Doujinshi, didn't she? Was that what she thought romance meant? The random exchange of sex in bad hentai?

Ayano found herself hyperventilating.

No! She couldn't do that! Not yet, she wasn't ready! She was still young and pure! She couldn't surrender herself so casually!

"Ayano?" Kyoko asked, sounding concerned. "Are you okay?"

Her rapid breathing game to a shuddering halt as she almost swallowed her tongue. _Oh god, we're here._

"**TOSHINO KYOKO**!" She shouted once again, drawing strength from the drums of war pounding inside her head. Wait, that was just her heartbeat. "_**WILL,**_** YOU, go, **out," she swallowed, "with…" Another dry throated gulp followed by a barely whimpered, "me…?"

Kyoko stared at her for a moment, before tilting her head to the side. "Eh?" She held a hand up to hair ear. "You trailed off at the end there, and my ears were ringing from the first part."

That was it. It was too much. Ayano's nerve broke, and she bolted from the scene with her face burning blood red, leaving behind a rather confused Toshino Kyoko. Which, when Ayano thought about it, was a somewhat ironic reversal of the way things went, where the blonde was supposed to leave the purplette feeling confused and dazed.

* * *

_I hope things go well for Ayano, _Yui thought to herself as she made her towards the Principal's office. Or at least she thought it was the right direction. This school was stupidly large, and she'd never been there before.

Still, Yui had always had a good sense of direction, and as long as she could find the right room before first bell rang, she'd be fine. She was on the right track after getting some directions from an elder student, and the principal's office was in sight when someone stepped in front of her.

"Funami Yui?" A girl with red hair stepped in front of Yui, smiling pleasantly.

Yui glanced her up and down, before deciding she was busy and shook her head. "You have me confused with someone else."

The girl blinked, before frowning and reaching into her pocket. She withdrew a phone, checking the screen before holding it out so Yui could see. "So you're telling me that's not you?" A picture of Yui talking with Kyoko was displayed.

"..." Yui sighed, before saying, "Yes that's me, but I'm busy."

"Oh, I'm sure you are." The girl smiled. The colour of the ribbon on her neck revealed her to be a second year, but despite being older she was still shorter than Yui. "I'm here on behalf of the Student Council to talk about what you saw yesterday."

Rolling her eyes, Yui stepped around her and went to continue to the principals office, when a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"I don't think you want to do that."

"Take your hand off me." Yui answered coolly.

The girl shrugged and did as she was asked. "Fine, but I'm just letting you know that if you do go to the principal, your friends will be the ones who regret it most."

That gave the black haired girl pause. "What did you just say?"

Coughing into her hand, the redhead smiled at Yui. "Why don't you follow me? This isn't the sort of thing you'll want an audience for." She tilted her head, indicating the passing students.

The taller girls stared at her for a moment, before she nodded.

"Great." The council member smiled. "This way please."

Yui followed her hesitantly, allowing herself to be led through the halls. Neither of them talked talk as they walked, and Yui found herself thinking about how she liked this new school less and less with each passing day.

_Kyoko and I really should have applied to another all-girls._

They eventually stepped into an empty club room, and the redhead shut the door behind them before she turned to Yui. "Alright, so introductions first." She bowed slightly, smiling politely as she did. "Hello, my name is Kitamura Sayako."

Yui considered staying silent, but decided it would be awkward and bowed in return. "You know my name."

Kitamura chuckled at that. "Right. I want you to know I sincerely regret the circumstances we're meeting under, but you are about to be blackmailed so…" she shrugged. "I hope we can become friends anyway."

"Blackmail?" Yui repeated

"Yeah, I know right? Sucks so much." She rolled her eyes with a sigh, before straightening her uniform in a business like manner. "Anyway, I'm here because you saw something that I'm sure you could have gone an entire lifetime without seeing. I mean, not only are you a Nanamori girl, but it was Mr Ishii as well, which is just, you know, gross."

Yui blinked at that. "I didn't actually see the details."

"Oh. Lucky you." She shuddered at some unknown memory. "We really need to invent a better way to forget things than brain alcohol, you know?"

"No."

Kitamura shrugged again. "Anyway, so here's the deal. If you tell the principal about what Mr Ishii has been putting where in my good friend, your bff, Kyoko, will be expelled."

Yui's jaw tightened. "Why?"

"Oh, there's plenty of reasons. She's only been here two days, and we already have her on sexual harassment. And even if we didn't have that on her, you're telling me that she's gonna go the rest of high school without getting into trouble?" She shook her head. "I've only been following her since like, this morning, and I already know the only reason she's not in jail yet is because you're around."

"You followed us?"

"Just to school." Kitamura admitted with a dismissive hand wave. "I was hoping to catch you alone, but you were with your friends the whole way."

Yui's fist tightened, but she kept her best poker face up.

"Oh, and speaking of friends, Ayano, who I've met and I've gotta say I really like her, will be accepted onto the Student Council if you keep your mouth shut."

"So you're blackmailing me, _and _bribing me."

"Yep." She smiled. "The President feels that a double motivator is always the best. If you do the wrong thing, bad stuff happens, and if you do the right thing, good stuff happens. Karma, you know?" The readhead twirled her fingers around each other, before she paused. "Or in this case, if you do the right thing and rat out the adulterous predator, bad things happen, and if you the do wrong thing and don't tell anyone, good things happen." She reversed the direction she was moving her fingers. "So really, it's more like the inverse of karma."

Even Yui couldn't stop her brows narrowing in annoyance.

"Anyway, the other thing we need to mention is you and your extreme lack of motivation."

"...What?" Yui would never describe herself as unmotivated. No one would.

"Yeah, you're this really talented athlete, right? We've checked your middle school records, and your the best at like, every sport in your year for every year you were there, but for some reason you never joined a sports club." She sniffed and shook her head. "Instead you spent every-day goofing off in some unused club room, which is just a sad waste of a lot of talent, really." She rolled her eyes. "And no one wants to see that. So, to stop any future awkward encounters like yesterday afternoon's, you're gonna try out for the track team."

"No. I don't think I will."

Kitamura blinked. "Oh?"

Yui paused to gather her thoughts. "A threat only works when you don't have to use it. I'm not threatening you, I'm telling you that I intend to do the right thing. You're the one who has to use a threat to stop me."

"...I don't understand your point." Kitamura tilted her head.

"I'm not joining any sports club. If you try to force me into that, I'll just bite the bullet and tell the teachers anyway." This was an Absolute bluff._ There's no way I'd do that to my friend. _They key to this working was convincing Kitamura that Yui would only bend so far, when in truth she'd probably join every club in the school if it meant keeping Kyoko out of trouble.

"You'd let your best friend get expelled because of a club?"

Yui nodded calmly.

"Huh. That's kinda cold."

The short haired girl shrugged.

Kitamura glanced her up and down, before nodding. "Alright, I'll make sure she knows you don't want to join the track club."

"Why isn't the President down here telling me all this, herself?"

The redhead shrugged. "She's… kinda skittish, honestly. She doesn't have much of a stomach for this sort of thing, which is why she always has me or Kaname do it for her."

_This sort of thing?_ "You make it sound like she has to blackmail a lot of people."

"Heh. No comment." Kitamura scratched her cheek.

"She must be really bad at hiding her affair."

"Oh, you have no idea." Kitimura chuckled. "Anyway, I'd ask to shake your hand and make sure it was a deal, but I doubt that's gonna influence your decision to rat out Mr Ishii much. So, now you know what will happen if you do talk, I'll just leave you to get to Homeroom." Once again she bowed. "And again, I'm sorry that this is how we met. Have a nice day."

When Yui didn't even respond, Kitimura shrugged and left the room with a wave goodbye. "Stay out of trouble." She paused and added, "Or don't. That way we can threaten you directly next time."

Standing alone in the empty room, it took Yui all of five seconds to decide she had no intention of letting someone else put her friends in harms way. Her eyes narrowed in thought, she stepped through the door and headed towards homeroom.

* * *

**AN: The thing I like most about this story is writing with shorter chapters. Usually when I write, my chapters are ten to twenty thousand word monstrosities, but here there's no pressure. One good afternoon, and the chapter'****s done. **

**You know I originally didn't want to call this story 'Raaawr!' My original plan was to call it 'R[]/\R!', like someone had been dumb with how they spelled it in a text message.**

**And a brief note on the Japanese language. You may notice in my story I don't use any chans, senpais or other Japanese honorifics. That's because I don't speak Japanese, and I'm sure I'd mess up the titles anyway. However, I do have it so that whenever anyone uses their full name they say it in the Japanese order. IE, family name first, given name second.**

**Let me know how the characters are. My goal is for them to be in character with their behavior in the show, but at the same time add to what's there, give them new dimensions. Plus, they've aged up a few years so they're supposed to be more mature now, although they really aren't.**


	4. Chapter 4

"You know what I just realised?" Kyoko pondered aloud.

Yui glanced at her, but didn't respond otherwise. Her mind was mostly occupied by what happened yesterday, so she didn't even bother with an answer as she turned back to her notes.

"Nanoha is totally a pedophile."

...Now _that _got Yui's attention. "What?"

"Nanoha." Kyoko repeated. "She's totally a pedophile."

Yui paused, swivelling in her desk chair to face Kyoko, who was lying on her bed. "Nanoha? From Magical Lyrical Nanoha?"

"Uh huh." Kyoko smiled, glad she finally had Yui's attention.

Yui thought about it for a moment, before she shook her head. "How? She never makes advances on any kids that I remember."

"She totally does." Kyoko grinned triumphantly.

"Some gross doujinshi where she sleeps with Vivio does not count as canon."

"No, I'm talking about Fate."

Yui paused. "Fate's not a child though, she's the same age as Nanoha."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong." Kyoko waggled a finger. "Fate's a clone, right? She's actually only, like, two or three years old in the first series, but because she's a clone and has the memories of her dead sister, you think she's eight or nine like Nanoha."

Yui thought about it. "That's true… but it still doesn't necessarily mean Nanoha slept with someone under age."

"Alright, so Fate's like six or seven years younger than Nanoha, right? And let's assume they didn't do it until they were sixteen, that would make Fate actually nine years old."

Yui frowned. "What about if they waited till they were twenty? The legal age is thirteen in Japan."

"But they weren't in Japan when they were twenty. They were on Midchilda, and most countries have the age of consent around sixteen, right?"

Yui shrugged. "I guess."

"So Fate would still be underage by their standards."

Yui frowned. "But that wouldn't matter would it? Fate has the body and mind of someone of consenting age."

Kyoko shook her head. "A prosecutor would just say that'd make a dangerous legal precedent, where anyone could abduct a mature looking girl, insert her head with the memories of someone older than her, and bam! Legal pedophillia."

Despite herself, Yui couldn't help but shake her head at the idea. "Well, it was never confirmed that Nanoha and Fate were together, so-"

The blonde just blew a derisive raspberry. "As if. There's no way Takamachi wasn't, you know, '_testaing her rossa'_. I mean, have you seen the way she's drawn in Strikers? Who could sleep in the same bed as that and not do it?"

The shorter haired girl, shrugged. "I could."

"You don't count," Kyoko waved her off.

Yui raised an eyebrow. "Why don't I count?"

"Because you're wierd and all… not-sexual."

"...What do you mean by that?"

"I mean Chinatsu was throwing herself at you from the moment she met you, and never once did you even consider tapping that!" Kyoko pouted. "If she wasn't gonna do it with me, the least you could have done was tell me what it was like!"

Rolling her eyes, Yui turned around to face her notebook again. "If I slept with Chinatsu, you only would have gotten jealous."

"As if I would be so petty."

Yui considered herself an expert when it came to giving people flat looks, and in her head she rated the one she directed at Kyoko a 6.0 out of 10.

Sadly, the blonde never really seemed to appreciate how masterful her best friend was at her chosen art form. "What's with you anyway? You're really pretty, but even Akari gets more action than you do."

"I think it's perfectly acceptable for me not to literally _throw _myself at any girl who's so much as kinda cute." Yui answered coolly, her back turned.

"But it's booooooring." Kyoko whined. "Come on! We're in highschool now, hormones going crazy, body's finally blooming, and best of all, this is the time of experimentation in many an innocent young girl's life! We're from Nanamori, Yui! _Nanamori_. We've already been there, we're experienced veterans of the art! It'd be so easy to stroll in and just clean up. We could have like, two, no, three girls on each arm if we wanted!"

Yui briefly considered giving Kyoko another flat look, but decided against it because she was concerned it might be so perfect that it might cause reality to inverse itself, thusly imploding and destroying everything that ever was or will be. "Do you even hear yourself?"

There was a brief pause, before the bow wearing girl asked, "So… do you want to try it?"

"Do I wanna try turning the entire school into my harem?" Yui rolled her eyes and scribbled something down. "Absolutely. I cannot wait to start."

"Bah, you're no fun." Another moment's quiet. "Wanna try something else then?"

"Whatever it is, no."

"No, I'm really asking… Do you want to, you know, experiment a little?"

Yui paused in her scribbling, before turning her seat back around to see if Kyoko was _seriously _asking _that_. She was surprised to find the blonde had moved from the bed and standing in front of her, observing the black haired girl the same way she observed other girls.

"...You're really pretty." She murmured, reaching forwards to touch Yui's face.

Getting over her initial surprise, Yui grabbed the other girl's hand before its fingers brushed her face. "What do you think you're doing?"

Kyoko shrugged. "Sorry I… I've just never really done anything like that with someone before, you know? I want to find out what it's like."

Sighing, Yui let go of her hand. "Look, if you're really serious about all this teen-love junk, just ask someone to be your girlfriend."

The shorter girl frowned, before a flash of inspiration appeared in her eyes and she said, "Okay. Wanna be my girlfrie-"

"Absolutely not."

Kyoko pouted and scuffed her foot. "Why aren't there any cute girls who are interested in me?"

"..." Yui took a calming breath, forcing down the urge to scream, _Ayano! Ask out Ayano!_ at the top of her lungs. _Now is the time to try and calmly direct Kyoko towards the answer, not bludgeon her with it._ "Well, first of all, who would _you_ like to go out with."

Kyoko shrugged. "I dunno, someone pretty I guess."

Yui nodded. An answer as poorly thought out as any she had come to expect. "Then who are the pretty girls in our year?"

"Hm… there's that girl with the blue hair who's on the softball team."

"She's already got a boyfriend," Yui lied. "Anyone else?"

"That foreign girl in class C is super cute."

Yui winced. "I think she's pretty rich, and out of your league."

"Hm…" Kyoko frowned. "This is trickier than I thought."

"...You know who's actually pretty?" Yui prompted after a moment.

Kyoko's eyes widened in surprise, looking towards her best friend in glee. "You actually noticed someone?"

The raven haired girl winced. "No, I was just saying she's pretty-"

"Who is it?" Kyoko continued excitedly. "Do you have a crush on her? Do I know her? Is she from Nanamori?"

Sighing and giving up, Yui turned around to face her desk.

"...Is it Ayano?"

Her back stiffened.

"Aww… that's so cute!" The blonde giggled. "And I think she has a crush on you."

_...How on earth could she think that?_ "...How on earth could you think that?"

"I dunno." She shrugged happily.

At the moment, Yui had a premonition. A scary one. One were Kyoko, operating under the impression Yui had eyes for Ayano, decided to be a good friend and not ask out the tsundere. So Ayano would spend days and weeks wondering over why she was suddenly being pushed towards Yui, all the while concerns built as romantic interests conflicted, creating an unending stream of awkward situations, unresolved sexual tension, and circulating rumors. This would go on until Ayano finally worked up the courage to confess to Kyoko, who would turn her down for the sake of sparing Yui's imagined feelings. The result would be a painful, heart-wrenching stalemate until someone discovered that the other was moving away, or a similar outside influence forced an act of desperation that finally cleared the air once and for all.

_No. I am _**NOT** _going to be part of that._

After a moment of pinching the bridge of her nose, Yui stood up and grabbed Kyoko by the shoulders, staring straight into her eyes. "I need you to understand this _implicitly_. I have never had any interest in Ayano, or anyone else in my entire life. More than that, I know with absolute certainty that Ayano doesn't have a crush on me."

"Uh… okay?" Kyoko winced. "You're uh, holding me kinda hard…"

"**Listen**. To me." Yui hissed. "I have no interest in **anyone, **and Ayano has had a crush on you since the first year of middle school."

"...Really?" Kyoko looked confused, before a pained look came over her face as Yui's grip tightened again.

"**Yes. **Really." She took a calming breath, before letting go of her friend and sitting back down. She added, "Everyone knows. She's terrible at hiding it."

"...That can't be true."

At that moment, entirely by coincidence, the pen in Yui's hand snapped. "Just ask her out, already."

"...Are you sure that's a good idea?" Kyoko said after a moment.

Turning in her chair, Yui listed the relevent factors on her fingers. "She's pretty, and she's interested in you. She meets both your qualifications."

"...Does she really have a crush on me?" Kyoko frowned. "I think I would have noticed."

After a moment Yui said, "But you agree she's pretty?"

The blonde nodded after a moment. "Yeah, I hadn't noticed before but you're right. She's actually super hot."

"And she's from Nanamori, right? Which means chances are she likes other girls, right?"

"That's true…" Kyoko considered for a moment.

"So, it would be good idea for you to ask her out, right?" The taller girl prodded.

"...Are you sure you don't have a crush-"

"Yes. I'm sure."

After a few moments, Kyoko smiled and happily took out her phone. "Alright, I guess I'll see if she's interested."

_Thank god. _Yui turned around to face her desk, once more, while Kyoko dug out her phone.

* * *

Ayano was studying at home when her phone buzzed. Taking it out of her pocket and checking the screen, she was vaguely surprised to see a text from Kyoko there. A large part of her instantly went into panic mode, afraid that the blonde had noticed her strange behaviour from the other day and was now confronting her about it. On the other hand, some small part of her was super hyped about getting a text from Kyoko.

Summoning up all her courage and excitement with a nervous gulp, Ayano tapped the screen to open it.

**where r u now?**

Oh. Well that was innocent enough.

_Kinda disappointing actually._

Kyoko was probably going to invite Ayano to something she and Yui had probably cooked up. Another day at the beach would be fun, right? Or maybe hanging out to study? _She's not going to rope me into another one of those anime conventions, is she?_

With just a touch of trepidation, Ayano replied simply, **at home. y?**

**cool. do u wanna go out?**

Ayano froze. She stared at the screen for almost ten minutes, not fully understanding what she just read. Did… did Kyoko just ask her out on a date? Blushing she shook her head, and said to herself, "Oh, Kyoko must mean as friends. I can read way too far into things sometimes."

Thus she answered, **sure. can i invite chitose?**

**wow lol ;) I didn't know u 2 were like that. im cool 2 share**

"...Like what?" Ayano said after a moment. "Good friends? Yes, Chitose and I are very good friends. What does she mean by 'share'?"

**how do u wanna share her? **The purplette asked.

**wow, ur fast. um, im not experienced, wot do u suggest?**

"What is she talking about?" Ayano frowned. "Isn't she friends with Yui?"

**wot about yui?**

It was a few minutes before Kyoko answered. **um. im ok with that, but i dont think yui will be. let me ask.**

A few short seconds later, Ayano's phone rang. The screen told her it was Yui ringing, so she answered. "Hello?"

"_Hey Ayano, it's Yui."_ She sounded even more exasperated than usual. _"Just checking to be sure, but are you propositioning me and Kyoko for casual sex?_"

"**What?!"** Ayano shrieked, the phone falling out of her hands. Fumbling to grab it, she bounced it from one hand palm to the other before finally catching it between her knees. She held it back up to her ears and squeaked, "What made you think that?!"

"_I thought that was the case."_ Ayano could practically hear the eyes rolling in Yui's sockets. _"I'm gonna put Kyoko on, just give me a moment to write some cue-cards or something."_

"Cue cards? Wha-" Whatever she was about to say was cut off by the sound of discussion and movement as the phone was transferred to someone else.

"_Hi Ayano." _A familiar voice answered after a moment.

"T-t-toshino Kyoko," Ayano stuttered with another furious blush. "D-d-did you really think I was… was…" Oh god, she couldn't even finish that sentence.

"_Yeah, sorry about that. Yui wants me to tell you I'm an idiot, but that doesn't make sense because I'm a genius and-"_

"What did you actually want?" She cut across Kyoko, covering her eyes and eternally grateful that no one could see her blush.

"_Well, I wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a date."_

"..."

"_...Hello? Are you still there?"_

"I'm sorry, I think I just misheard you." Ayano said after a moment. "Could you repeat that?"

"_Uh… do you wanna go on a date?"_

"Like… a friends date?"

"_No. I mean like a girlfriend's date."_

"...You mean that as girls who are friends, right?"

"_...No?"_ Kyoko sounded confused now. _"I mean romantically. As in, kissing, holding hands, we go out to dinner or see a movie or something like that? You know, like… girlfriends?"_

"...You're at Yui's place right now, aren't you?"

"_Yeah? But listen, I don't think you understand-"_

* * *

The line cut as someone on the other end hung up. After a few minutes, Kyoko couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. She was really starting to warm up to the idea of dating Ayano. The former President was cute, funny, and really pretty now that she thought about it. And smart too, though obviously not as smart as Kyoko herself, but who was, right? That shouldn't be held against her.

She tried ringing her again, but all she got was Ayano's answering machine. Frowning to herself, she pocketed her phone and fell down onto Yui's bed.

"How'd it go?" Yui asked over her shoulder.

"...She hung up on me."

"Really?" Yui sounded surprised.

"Yeah." Kyoko rolled onto her side, frowning. "She's… she's still going to let me be friends with her, right?"

Yui was silent, before replying, "Are you okay?"

The blonde answered with a shrug. "It's not like a had a crush on her, it's just… once you pointed it out it seemed like a really cool idea, you know?" She glanced at Yui, who was in her pokerface mode. Grimacing, Kyoko looked away. She didn't feel like talking to her is she was just gonna sit there and act vaguely annoyed like she always did…

After a few moments awkward silence, the sound of pen on paper started back up as Yui resumed her study. "I'm sorry."

Kyoko didn't answer at first. "I guess I'm just really disappointed."

"I guess."

"You said she had a crush on me for a long time, right?"

"Mmhm."

"...Maybe I waited too long, and now she just hates me? She was acting really weird yesterday and..."

There was a sigh, before Kyoko heard the sound of a pen being dropped. A moment later, Yui was standing above her. "Come on," she knocked her head towards the door. "Let's go get some ice cream or something. It's supposed to be good for heartbreak, right?"

Kyoko pouted playfully as she sat up. "You're paying, right?"

The taller girl snorted.

"Aw come on, my poor old heart was torn in two because of your advice."

"That a fact?" Yui helped Kyoko to her feet. "I guess some meager recompense might be owed." She shrugged after a moment. "As long as you don't splurge and get something more expensive, sure."

"Free food!" Kyoko cheered, slipping on her shoes to go outside.

"I can see how devastated you are."

"Too late, no take backs!" Kyoko threw open the apartment door, and was just about to step out when Ayano charged up the stairs to their floor.

The blonde didn't even get the time to blink in confusion before she was thrown against a wall and her lips were forced apart by Ayano's. For a moment, it was all she could do to stand there with her eyes wide with shock and stare at the other girl, whose eyes were closed as she flushed from running. Eventually a coherent thought finally formed itself.

_I am okay with this._

Eventually, Ayano broke it off, panting heavily. She stared at Kyoko, her face pink after running all the way from her own place, and blushing with embarrassment at her actions. Then her jaw set in determination, and Kyoko was pushed against the wall again, with a finger pointed warningly in her face.

"We're girlfriends now, got it?" Ayano said firmly, still beet red.

Kyoko nodded enthusiastically.

Ayano continued. "That means we're mutually exclusive now too, right?"

Another nod. "O-okay."

"You didn't kiss anyone, or date anyone that's not me! And you don't get overly cozy with them either! Hugs are okay, but no touching them anywhere that's not strictly appropriate, and my hand is the only one you can hold, unless they're a small child. Got it?"

"S-sure."

"And we're dating now, so we're seeing a movie tonight. You can pick."

"...I am okay with this."

"Good." Ayano smiled at her briefly, before throwing herself into another kiss, which Kyoko was happy to respond to.

Yui stood there, watching the two of them for a moment before rolling her eyes. "Not heartbroken anymore I take it?"

Her only response was an enthusiastic thumb up from a distracted Kyoko.

Smirking to herself, Yui pulled the door shut and left them to their business.

* * *

**AN: Okay, so none of the main plot really happened this chapter, but I wanted to get Kyoko and Ayano's relationship kick started this chapter to make room for Yui in the next few chapters.**

**Remember, with Kyoko and Ayano I'm aiming for terrible but kinda sweet with their relationship. Let me know if the comedy parts of the story are working, because I'm kinda worried that it's not very funny so far.**

**Also, some people might say Ayano was acting OOC to which I'd reply… eh. Probably. But I don't think that's very important really, because to be honest none of the characters in the show actually get flushed out with a lot of depth. There are hints here and there, but nothing confirmatory really. In my mind, it's easily plausible that Ayano's been bottling up her feelings for Kyoko for so long that occasionally they'd overcome her shyness and make her do something she wouldn't usually do. Plus, I think it's cute.**

**See you next update.**


	5. Chapter 5

Idiots played an important role in Yui's life.

Okay, _technically _Kyoko was a genius, but anyone who spent more than five minutes with her would learn that the blonde lacked even a glimmer of common sense. Her other friends were only a little better, Akari being kinda naive and dense in all fairness, while Chinatsu made up for whatever she lacked in the brains department with sheer delusional creepiness. Chitose and Ayano weren't so bad, as long as the topic wasn't anything related to Kyoko or romance, at which point both of them would suddenly become a stuttering fool and outright unconscious, respectively.

Despite the overabundance of the mentally deficient in her life, Yui still found herself in need of an idiot. Not just any idiot, but one she wasn't affiliated with, and one who could be trusted to handle certain tasks. Or not trusted, in this case. Basically, someone who couldn't keep a secret.

A simple-minded gossip-monger who wasn't particularly good with faces would be ideal. Finding such a person was actually a little tricky, because Yui knew almost no one at this school, and thus had to fish around a bit before she knew where to begin searching.

And by 'fish around', Yui actually meant 'sit in a bathroom stall and listen to the conversations of the girls coming in', which, in retrospect, was about as creepy as one of Chinatsu's drawings. But girls often went to the toilet together, right? They talked about things while they did it, and it was an easy way to listen in on their conversations without being noticed. Yes, not every topic offered what she was after, more often than not the discussion was boys and senpais, much to Yui's irritation. Still, her efforts eventually paid off. After spending some time there before school, in between classes, during lunch, and after school, she'd managed to compile a list of frequently mentioned spreaders of gossip.

A short list with only three names, but still! With just three names and a quick disguise, Yui was ready to get her plan rolling. Never let it be said she wasn't dedicated to protecting her friends, or upholding justice. Her butt was still cold from sitting on a cold toilet rim for so long.

Her disguise was a simple one. A blue wig borrowed from Kyoko's Lucky Star cosplay, as well as some simple makeup to reduce the lines on her face and make her a bit prettier. Also she was smiling, which was something Yui wasn't prone to doing. All this meant that, hopefully, no one would associate her current guise with her usual self.

First on her list? Togashi Karen, who was pretty easy to find with a few directions. Hesitating to approach her directly, Yui instead… well, there was no other way to say it. After _stalking _Karen for most of her lunch break, she was relieved when the girl eventually went to stand alone by a vending machine, sipping juice.

Moving quickly, Yui went to buy some black coffee, while seemingly reaching into her jacket pocket for cash. At the same time she did that, she pressed dial on her phone with the number for the other phone she'd purchased just that morning already typed in.

A few seconds after her black coffee canrolled out of the machine, Yui's mobile rang. Answering it quickly, she stepped away from Karen, and answered to no one, "Hello."

After pretending someone was speaking into the other end for a moment, Yui made to walk a few more steps away from Karen. "Hey, Jun. What's up?"

"..."

"...Really?" Yui put some disbelief into her voice.

"..."

"...Ew, that's super gross. With Mr Ishii?"

"..."

"...Isn't she the Student President? He's not cute at all, what is she doing with him?"

Glancing over her shoulder, Yui found Karen leaning towards her with an interested look on her face. _Perfect._

Coughing into her phone, the false blunette gave the other girl a glare and answered the imagined caller. "Could you wait a second, someone's trying to listen in."

Karen startled, looking away quickly in embarrassment at being caught.

"Yeah, I'll call you back." Yui said, narrowing her eyes in pretend annoyance before walking away and sipping at her coffee haughtily.

Hanging up as she passed around the corner, Yui smirked to herself_._

* * *

With rumors of Mr Ishii and the Council President's sordid affair circulating the school, all Yui needed was evidence, which was going to be considerably trickier to acquire. The few images she did have could be too easily traced back to her, and weren't especially conclusive.

No, for this she'd need to consult someone. Someone she really didn't want to consult.

Sighing and internally bracing herself, Yui leaned back into her desk chair and dialled a number into her phone, the one she actually regularly used, not the one that she purchased just this morning.

The phone didn't even finish ringing once, when it was answered with an explosive squeal of, "_Yuiiiiiii!_"

Wincing, she tried to ignore the headache that formed almost instantly. _God, I hate caller ID. _"Hello, Chinastu."

"_You haven't called me for so long, and I was worried you'd forgot about me, or that Kyoko had done something to you and I'd have to see you at your house, and I've missed you so much-_"

Sighing to herself, Yui left the phone at her desk before walking into the kitchen to get a drink of water and an aspirin. She came back a moment later and put the phone to her ear.

"_-nd I'm just just so glad to hear from you again._" Chinatsu finished happily.

_Does she even breath? _"Yeah, I'm glad to hear from you, too. How have you been getting along with Akari?"

"_Oh, it hasn't been the same without you. Akari's kinda boring, but she doesn't resist me anymore, so I can have fun with her._"

"...'Resist you'?" Yui asked, feeling a bit worried for Akari's health.

"_Yeah, she was so reluctant at first, but I showed her who's boss!_" Chinatsu sounded… worryingly satisfied, to say the least.

"..." Fighting the urge to swallow in apprehension, Yui asked, "What have you done with Akiri?"

"_Oh, I made her vice president of the Tea Club._" Chinatsu dismissed. Her voice dropped an octave, and she sincerely said, "_I'd never take orders from anyone but you, senpai._"

Something cold crawled up the raven haired girl's spine, she assumed it was a scorpion that had been dipped in iced water. "That's nice."

_There is a void inside that girl. _Once upon a time, Yui had worried about the damage Kyoko might do to an innocent and vulnerable Chinatsu, but these days it was the other way around. She honestly couldn't believe that she once believed the pink head might need _protecting_, when the fact was other people needed _protection _from her.

Chinatsu was without a doubt the single creepiest person Yui had ever met. That pink hair concealed the mind of a psychopath and the heart of an obsessive. During her final year at middle school, Yui had honestly worried she'd one day end up on the evening news as one of those people who was tied up in a basement and enslaved for several years.

And the drawings. _Oh god, the drawings._ Disturbing, misshapen pictures of strange, repulsive creatures that vaguely represented her and her friends, looking like they were being eaten by leering faces, bleeding from the mouth, or ritualistically slaughtering each other. Chinatsu insisted she was a talented artist, and that they were pictures of people kissing or holding hands, but if that was her perception of what people in love looked like, then Yui had no intention of ever being in love with her.

_Why does she only ever draw in _black _and _red_?_

"_-New club member quit for some reason. She was whimpering something about satanic tea cults when she gave me her resignation letter._"

"Uh huh," Yui answered. "Hey, you know how to pick a lock, right?"

"_...What makes you ask that?_" Chinatsu asked after a moment.

"You broke into my house." Yui answered flatly.

"_...No I didn't._"

"Yes, you did. You took nude photos of yourself next to me while I was sleeping." Yui still couldn't believe she hadn't woken up for that.

"_**Who showed you tha**__- I mean, no I didn't!_"

"It's your desktop wallpaper. I've been to your room, you know."

"_...It was photoshopped?_" Chinatsu offered after a moment.

While Yui sincerely hoped that was true, she doubted it. _It's the reason I had a deadbolt added to my door. _"Look Chinatsu, I'm hoping you could come to my place sometime and teach me what you know about lock picking."

"_Really?!_" Chinatsu squealed happily. She was always happy to have any excuse to hang out with her crush/shameless obsession. "_Can I come over tomorrow?_"

"...Sure." Yui couldn't help the hesitation. Inviting Chinatsu into her house felt a bit like asking for something _horrible _to happen to her.

Chinatsu squealed with excitement, and Yui jerked the phone away from her ear with a wince. "_I can't wait, thank you, Yui! You won't regret this. I'll bring every book I have on stealth entries and all of my lock picks!"_

"Got any books on home defence, too?" Yui asked dryly. "Sounds like I might need them."

"_Of course!_" Chinatsu replied, happily missing the point. "_It's always a good idea to know what tricks someone might use to stop you."_

"...I was joking about the…" Yui started, but then thought better of it. "Never mind, bring the home defence books too."

"_Ooh, I can't wait! This is going to be so much fun, Yui-"_

Hanging up, Yui dropped the mobile phone back to her desk, and spun in her chair to examine her apartment. After a moment, she sighed and stood up, muttering to herself, "Better hide my underwear…"

* * *

**Shorter chapter than usual this week. Sorry about that, I'll try to make up for that with next chapter which I'm hoping will be awesome.**

**Please review.**


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